She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
