I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Your cock deserves a montage
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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