omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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