I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
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