I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
