Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
