I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
