My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
