we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
