was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
