At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize