Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
