Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
