drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
