My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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