so that wasnt chicken after all
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize