So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
