My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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