You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
