Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
