are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
