Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
