fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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