he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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