yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
