Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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