Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
