You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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