this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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