Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize