I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
