Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
As shirtless as possible
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
