If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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