my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
