He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
