her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
