Nicole vs. Life
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
