It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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