There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
In America we eat man semen.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
