Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
