just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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