Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
