hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
