No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
