Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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