I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
