she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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