You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
