And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
