using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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