i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
