You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
