Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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