You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
