actually, I'm a sock model
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
