it wasn't lemon gatorade
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
