as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
why is half of my head shaved?
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