I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
