walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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