I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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