The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
