I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
