3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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