Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize